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17 August 2006 @ 12:16 pm

that's the best comment i've ever gotten. ever.
27 February 2006 @ 12:46 am
i'm basically stressed the fuck out. my dumb research paper isn't done, & it's due tomorrow. i only 888 words and i need 1500. :[[ i'm on the verge of tears. i don't even know what the other reason i'm upset is. i just feel like a shitass person. and that i'm annoying everybody, exspecially john. :[[ i wish i didn't feel like this, i really do. everything seems to hit me at once, and i take it all in. until i freak out.. and then end up like this. being a bitch to my boyfriend, and feeling like i'm going to cry. i guess i'm scared john is going to leave me, i know i shouldn't be. but i am. i can't help it.
eating: confusedconfused
music: nellygrillz
20 February 2006 @ 09:29 pm
wow. today has totally sucked. this entry will too. because it's just me jotting down my thoughts. probably not even making sense at all. for the most part of the day, i was fine. like.. nothing was really bothering me. not talking to John wasn't either. but like around 8ish.. i started just feeling shitty as hell. like i was missing something, or something bad was gonna happen. i don't know why. but i just felt it.

i didn't catch up on english, at all. didn't start my research paper either. fuck fuck fuck. oh well, fuck it really. i'll just.. not go to school on wednesday when my chapter is due. i don't care anymore, even though i should care most now. seeing as.. i only have like.. 90 days 'til graduation. i just don't care.

john called and woke me up today at like 1:30. almost 12 hours of sleep. it was nice to hear him first thing, ya know? he said "what are you doing sleeping beauty?" aww. anyways. so i talked to him for a little while. and he was doing some dumbass poker thing online, so he said he'd call me back when the number of people [over 2k] went down a little. that was like.. at 2:20p & it's now what time? yeah.. 9:33pm. no calls. ehhhhh! he probably got wrapped up in it. i've known john forever [well, a few years] and like.. he worries me a lot. always has. blah blah blahhhh! we were talking last night & i don't know how we got to this but he was like "why do you say i'm amazing?" and i was like "because you are. you make me feel different." how can we be so perfect for each other & never known it until recently? i'm good for him, he's good for me. i never would've expected i'd end up with John. but i'm so happy we are together. ♥

my cousins are seriously really annoying and loud. i want to leave arizona. forever. just finish school and go. but i can't. i would die without my family. i'd die without seeing my boys. and i'd be flaking out on one of my best friends. we recently planned on moving in together in july. after her 18th birthday. and if i just LEAVE.. then i'm a fucking bitch ass friend. and i'm really not that type of person. i don't know what to do.

i know if i say that something is wrong when john calls i won't be able to explain any of this to him. and i'll feel like shit because i can't tell him what's wrong. because honestly? i have no idea what. this is all just thoughts in my head. nothing really makes sense. see? that's why i have ya'll. it's great. really. i appreciate who reads this.

eating: confusedconfused
15 January 2006 @ 07:25 pm
have you ever really TH0UGHT about it? you've got this girl, head over heels in love with you. she'd do anything for you, she'd die for you. but for some reason, you don't want to see that. you know it's there, & you know that you feel the same way. but you refuse to let it be. maybe you're scared. maybe you're scared of the thought that this girl who you've known forever ;; you've seen her happy, you've seen sad ;; maybe this girl is perfect for you. & that really scares you, doesn't it?

&& i smile when i
see your screenname come
up on my buddy list.

a&a 062404 a&f

27 November 2005 @ 12:38 pm

either you never comment or we just never clicked/got to know each other. don't take it personal. please remove me from you friends list a.s.a.p
16 September 2005 @ 06:38 pm

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today is the team's first game without anthony. he died on sunday, in an accident drowning at party on the lake. the school was covered with people showing their respects to him with his number (22) plastered on t-shirts, ribbons, and his pictures. his wake is tonight and the funeral tomorrow. please keep his family in your prayers and our school as well. we are in a state of depression.
eating: sadsad